


To The Girl I Left Alone

by CommanderHeartThrob



Series: The 100 One Shots [8]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 18:51:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4274202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHeartThrob/pseuds/CommanderHeartThrob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "To the Girl Who Walked Out of My Life". </p><p>Lexa's reply to Clarke's angry letter.</p><p>You definitely want to read that one first before you come back to this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To The Girl I Left Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To the Girl That Walked Out of My Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4247985) by [CommanderHeartThrob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHeartThrob/pseuds/CommanderHeartThrob). 



Klark kom skaikru,

Every day I wish I hadn’t left you alone at the base of the mountain. Watching your heart break, along with my own, right in front of my face led me to my solitary confinement. I never meant to neglect you, or to lead you on. Believe me when I say that I truly cared about you all those years ago. 

I know that you’re lonely. The seasons are changing, and with them, so are you. I hadn’t expected you to wait for me, at least not this long. I had expected you to move on to Bellamy, or your mechanic Raven, or the Trikru guard that seemed to spark an interest within you that I had only seen when we were together.

You are important to me, Clarke. So important that I needed to set myself apart from you in order to become a better leader for my people. I had done what I thought was best only to realize that it was not what I needed to do. Making decisions with my head and not my heart made me lose the one person I truly cared about.

You were right, Clarke. Missing you hurts. Missing you is putting me through hell. I’ve tried to push through it all, to continue to lead my people in the only way I know how, but love is weakness and, for fucks sake, I’m weak for you.

I still miss you, the inside jokes, the seductive smile you gave me when we were alone, the idea that just standing next to you with our hands grazing as one of us shifted our weight, or leading thousands of people into battle with you by my side. I miss that so much. I could never stop missing you. I just hoped you would eventually move on and forget about the leader of the twelve clans who just so happens to be head over heels for the blonde princess with blue eyes that fell from the sky. 

When you say "friend" we both know we were never friends. We were acquaintances. We were two leaders of multiple groups of people who had an alliance. And, at one point, we were almost lovers. I would never only speak to you when I wanted or needed something, even though I always wanted and needed you. 

You’re correct in saying that time has a way of changing people. I hate myself for what I did to you, and I could never expect you to forgive me. Hell, I could never forgive myself, but I want you to know that I do, honestly, what you back in my Life.

Two years has been too long to avoid you, Skaiprisa. I hope you can view my absence as my trying to find and forgive myself, because I cannot go another waking moment without you.

That is why I am hand delivering this letter to you.

I’ve come without guards to show how weak I am for you, Clarke Griffin of the Sky people.

I want you to rule the twelve clans with me, by my side. I want to be able to look to my side and say things like,  _You must be really tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night._  or  _You are the most beautiful screwdriver on a shelf full of screwdrivers._  Octavia, whom has become a brilliant warrior for the trikru, has been assisting me on ways to woo you, Clarke. I truly hope you can sense my sincerity when you finally do see this. 

I have a horse waiting for you. If you do not wish to join me, all is well. I will go on my way and put this all behind me. I will not hold this against you if you never wish to see me again. There is no reason behind my hiding, Clarke. I was afraid of what would happen between us. I was afraid that you would never want to see me again, so instead of risking the alliance that you had wished for, I took a leave of absence and hid like the scared little girl I truly am. 

Not knowing how you are when all I want to know is that you’re okay, and that you’re beside me once again, is killing me. It’s eating away at my soul, and my being, as if all of my past lives are scolding me for letting you go in the first place. 

I need your affection, Clarke. Even if it’s just once. I need to feel whole again, and I’m afraid I cannot do that without you. Missing you is what hurts the most in this unforgiving existence. I just hope you can give me another chance.

-Lexa


End file.
